Saturday, May 05, 2012

Obligatory Crohn's commentary

One of the beauties of having a blog is having a public space to bitch about stuff. If it happens to resonate with others who stumble upon it, all the better.

It's no secret that I have Crohn's Disease. I've had it for most of my life (diagnosed in my teens). It's taught me a lot of useful lessons about life and about myself. It has also been a bitch to live with sometimes, and there's not a whole lot I can do about it most of the time.

Crohn's is not caused by stress, but it can most definitely be exacerbated by it.  Herein lies one of Crohn's most nasty ironies -- who doesn't feel more stress when they are sick?  A lot of Crohnies, understandably, experience stress as soon as they feel the onset of symptoms, which often worsen because of the onset of stress over the onset of symptoms.  And so on and so on.  Thus, many Crohnies live with a mix of anxiety and depression over concern about what symptoms may be lingering around the corner.

So I've had a couple of rough months. Of course I'm always trying to figure out "why".  I don't know if that's a Crohn's thing or a Jeff thing, but context is something I tend to look for. I'm inquisitive like that.  My quest for "why" lately has led me to think this all started with my most recent colonoscopy. Although the procedure itself was fine, I do think the prep and related razzmatazz jarred my body a bit, from which I may still be recovering.

The toll on my body has been noticeable. My appetite has all but disappeared, so I'm drinking what a friend of mine calls "old people beverages" - Ensure, Boost, etc.  (actually my favorite is generic Walgreens chocolate).  The calories help me remain relatively stable throughout the day, but they aren't enough to sustain my weight. I can typically tell how active my Crohn's is by how pronounced my pelvic bones are. We don't have a scale in our house, but my guess is that I'm down about 10 pounds.

I have an Infliximab (Remicade) infusion scheduled this week, which should help get me back on track. In the meantime the best things for me to do are those that bring me joy. It's interesting how I struggle to find the motivation for FUN things when I am sick. Today I plan to listen to records, and if the sun comes out Leo and I will probably check out some of the neighborhood garage sales.  A simple day is what's on deck.

Thx for reading. Hope you are all in good health. If so, maybe take a moment to be grateful. :)


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